Killing Alagaesia's Sanity!
by The One and Only- Joey A.M
Summary: Or The Adventures of a Psyco Fangirl and her sidekick the Anti-Social Vampire! So what happens when a you put two completely different teenagers from 2009 in Alagaesia? The only thing you can expect is that nothing comes out right...
1. Chapter 1

Killing Alagaesia's Sanity

OR

The totally wacko adventures of a psycho fan girl and her sidekick the anti-social vampire

A/N- I know that this idea has been done so many, many, many times but I decided to finally give it a try because there were so many times in the books I just felt like telling someone- No, duh, captain obvious! Or telling someone, most of the time it was Eragon, Are you serious?! The answer's right in front of you!. So this way I can finally tell them what I think. Besides I have something other fan fictions don't- A guy gets sent to Alagaesia, I know strange. So please review even if it's to tell me how much I suck or to tell me I made mistakes but please, please tell me what you think. I'm not a mind reader so I need you guys to tell me what you think.

Disclaimer- If I owned this a lot of things would be different.

* * *

The Part Where We Magically Disappear

To say I was bored was probably the biggest understatement of the century. I was way beyond the point of bored, that's why I needed something fun to do.

" Blake." I whispered to my rather unfortunate science partner.

He turned a page from the book he was reading and made some more notes.

" Psst, Blake…" I repeated a bit louder.

Once again he ignored me.

I sighed. "Blakey." I whispered loudly earning myself a glare from the mean librarian.

Blake finally looked up. " What?" He asked clearly irritated.

" What are you doing?" I asked innocently.

He gave me one of those I-really-want-to-kill-Joey glares. " I'm working which is what you should be doing."

I rolled my eyes. " Come on, work is for the people with no life. Let's go explore!"

Blake didn't even bother replying. I sighed. " Fine, I'm leaving."

" If you leave then you'll have to do it all at last minute." He reminded me.

" That's what coffee's for." I replied unfazed as I started to put my books away. I peered over his shoulder. " Besides, you're almost done."

" That's not the point." He said as he started to put away some of his notes.

" Then what is?" I asked watching him gather his stuff, but as usual he didn't answer. " Come on Blake, let's go exploring!"

" Please?" I asked as he kept walking toward the elevators. I knew that if he made it to the library's lobby I would lose him and therefore I would have nobody to annoy.

" For the last time no." He replied. He pressed the call button for the elevator.

" Please, Blake, be a good friend for once."

The elevator came and we got on. " No."

" Geez, you're such a spoilsport!" I yelled since we were the only ones in the elevator. I looked to where he was going. I noticed he hadn't put what floor he was going to. Hmmm, I thought evilly. My finger slipped to the top floor.

" I really don't care Joanna."

I stuck out my tongue at him for calling me my full name. Then the doors opened. We were standing on a deserted hallway that led to the older parts of the library.

" What are we doing here." Blake wondered briefly before I pushed him outside into the hallway.

" We're exploring!" I said brightly as I dragged him along. We went into one of the first rooms. Furniture was piled up there. " Boring." I said.

Blake trudged along reluctantly. " Joanna you do know that there are ghosts up here?"

" Yea, that's why I'm not stupid enough to be alone." I replied as I went into some of the other rooms. At the far end there was one filled with books.

" Wow, it's like a mini library." I said as I wandered through the shelves of books.

I lost Blake as I headed deeper and deeper into the room. I kept going to the back until I came to a door. " Hey Blake?"

There was no answer. " Blake?" I tried again. Again there was no response. Damn, I thought, he left.

I started waling to towards the elevators again when I heard something. " Hello?" I asked tentatively. Ok, Joey, I told myself, no one is following you. It's just a figment of your imagination.

Again I heard the footsteps behind me. I whirled around only to find empty space.

I stayed there for a moment.

I let out a sigh as thunder started rolling. I glanced out of the windows and saw that it was starting to get really cloudy. I kept walking and once again I heard the same footsteps. The lights overhead started to dim and I started to feel myself get a bit creeped out.

I started headed to the door when I saw lightning flash and the lights went out. I cursed my bad luck. I realized that there was no way out of here since the stairs for the upper part where under re-construction and the only way up was the elevator.

I heard the footsteps again and I backed away slowly as I tried to calm my rapid heart. Then I hit something hard.

Slowly I turned around to find someone towering over me obscured in the shadows.

" Holy Shit!" I yelled as I backed away quickly.

Then I heard him laugh. " Blake." I said angrily. I punched him. " You stupid vampire!"

He chuckled a bit more. " I didn't know that it was so easy to scare you! Besides how am I a vampire?"

" Because you scared my half to death! Besides vampires prey on unsuspecting innocent victims."

" Oh right, you're so innocent. Next thing you'll be telling me you're the victim. Any ways it was your idea to come here."

I rolled my eyes. The lights started to flicker back on. " Come on, let's go."

" I don't think we should. I mean, who knows the lights could go off while we're in the elevator." He said seriously.

" Yea, but it we stay here then the lights could go off and then we might be stuck in here for a long time."

He nodded. " Maybe you're right."

Thankfully the lights stayed on as we headed to the elevators.

"Ok, , so why'd you decide to scare me?" I asked because it was so out of place for Blake to actually play a prank on me.

He shrugged. " Like you always say, it was the perfect moment just begging to be used."

I nodded. " I'm glad to have finally rubbed off on you."

He smiled. " I hope not."

Suddenly the elevator lurched. I felt myself grab onto the one of the metal bars on the side. " Holy…what was that?"

As if it were responding the elevator started lurching again like in an earthquake. The lights started to flicker on and off as the elevator swayed side to side. I was getting dizzy.

All of a sudden, the lights went out and everything stopped.

" Blake?" I heard myself ask.

" Huh?" Came his response.

" Are we going to die because I'm too young to die." I said. I glanced at him once he hadn't responded.

To my surprise there was a smile on his face. " I really don't know. Besides I'm younger than you so you're not too young to die."

Then the elevator lights turned on again and the elevator started moving. We both sighed with relief.

The elevator gave it's pleasant ding and the doors opened.

My jaw dropped. This was so not the library. We were in the middle of a giant field. All around us there was just grass, grass and yup, you guessed it more grass. I could see mountains somewhere near the horizon.

Beside me Blake said what we were both thinking. " Where the hell are we?"

I had no idea.

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Ok, so this is it for now. I'm going to try to update as soon as possible so in the meantime please review.


	2. Chapter 2

Killing Alagaesia's Sanity

OR

The totally wacko adventures of a psycho fan girl and her sidekick the anti-social vampire

A/N- Hello again. I'm sorry if this isn't the best chapter ever. I wrote it like at 1 am because the idea wouldn't leave me alone. So I'd just like to thank the one person who reviewed this. That totally made my day. I'm also glad that some people actually made it one of their favorites. But please review. It really does help to now what you guys think.

Disclaimer- They all belong to CP, not to me, sadly.

* * *

We're so not in Kansas anymore

I blinked. Ok, I thought, we just went from creepy library to a field in the middle of nowhere. Of course that made sense. Only in crazy land.

" Where are we?" Blake asked again.

" Um…." I started. Hell, even I didn't know. " My guess is somewhere very, very far away."

He gave me one of those no-shit-Sherlock, glares. " I think I figured that out already."

I rolled my eyes. " Well geez, sorry."

He glared at me. I blinked back.

Glare, glare, glare, glare. Blink, blink, blink, blink. " I think we should get out of this field." In case you're wondering that was me. Blake would never do anything cooperative.

He raised an eyebrow. I had forgotten this was Blake we were talking about, " You know, try to get out of this place before it's dark and something eats us…." I specified. I pointed to some mountains. " Like maybe there."

He sighed. " Fine." He sounded so far from fine.

I patted his shoulder sympathetically, " It's ok, Blake. I don't want to be stuck in the middle of no where with you either. I'd be like getting stuck with a brick, completely useless and disappointing."

I walked ahead before he could figure out what I said. I did not want to earn another I-want-to-kill-Joey glare

********************SEVERAL HOURS LATER***************************

" Blake I'm tired…" I whined.

Several minutes later. " Blake I'm bored…."

Half an hour later. " Blake are you even listening?"

I don't know why I even bothered. Seriously, didn't he know it was rude to not reply when people talked to you? I sighed, loudly. I should have expected this to be as boring as this, talking to Blake was like talking to an inanimate object.

This is how a conversation with Blake would go.

" Hey Blake!"

"…."

This is how a conversation with a brick would go.

" Hey Brick!"

"…."

Can you tell the difference? I sure can't.

I felt a drop of water hit my cheek. I looked up and saw the sky had darkened. Great.

I felt the drops start bombarding me. This was just perfect. The drops sped up and soon I was drenched. In the distance I heard thunder rumbling as lightning started flashing between the clouds.

I turned and saw Blake staring at the sky open mouth. I bet that right now we were both thinking the same thing; why does life hate us?

" Why?!" I yelled at the heavens. " Why do you hate me?!"

Of course there was no answer.

" I hate you life!" I yelled. Hey, I was cold, hungry, miserable and wet, I had some pretty good reasons to be angry at the world.

As a response the it started get raining faster.

" Why do you hate me so much?!" I know this may seem crazy but hey, you never know. The sky may randomly choose to talk to you one day.

And one day Blake would stop having the conversation skills of a brick.

" Joey?" Blake asked warily. I bet he was thinking I was crazy but I had some issues with the world at the moment. Everything else could wait." Joanna." He said this time sounding more urgent.

" What?!" I cried. I did not like people using my full name, ever.

He pointed. " Town."

Sure enough I saw smoke and smoke meant…. " People!" Hallelujah! We were saved!" Yes! We aren't going to die!" I cried happily.

" I wouldn't count on that." Said a voice.

" Holy shitake mushrooms!" I yelled as I saw a man pointing at me with a sword.

He stared at me, confused. I stared back.

" Run Blakey! Run!" I yelled seconds later as I grabbed Blake's hand and ran across the field towards the town.

I could hear the man and some other voices yelling at us as we tore through the town's gates.

" Come on Blake!" I yelled as I heard their pounding footsteps get closer.

" I would go faster if you let go of my hand!" He said as we ran for our lives.

I let go as we rounded a corner. Up ahead I could see a tiny little shop wedged between two houses. Perfect place to hide.

" Come on." I called out to Blake. I motioned him to follow me as I sped into the little shop.

Blake and I went in and heard the men's footsteps pass by. " Well that was close." I whispered.

He nodded.

" Who are you?" asked a voice.

We both turned. Standing on front of us was a very eccentric looking lady, she probably owned the shop judging by the way she was staring at us.

" Um…" I thought of coming up with a good lie. " We're two very needy children running for their lives." I tried.

The lady scoffed as a wild looking cat slinked by us. It's intelligent golden eyes locked into mine.

This may sound crazy but somehow that cat seemed surprised!

The lady stared at me quizzically. " Where are you from?" She asked. Her brown eyes narrowed in suspicion.

" That's not important." I replied. I had the feeling it was time to leave.

Blake started heading out and as I followed him I heard a cry of wait!

I peered back into the shop. The lady was petting the cat and it looked like she was talking to it.

" Would you like to have your fortune told?" She asked as her cat stared at me like it was trying to figure out something.

" Uh…sure." I replied. This was strange.

Blake came back in. " Joey?"

" Wait a sec." I said as the lady stroked the cat one last time.

She held out a small hand. " By the way I'm Angela, welcome to Tierm."

Tierm? Wait a second! Wasn't that in…" Holy shit! I know where we are…" I breathed.

" Where?" Blake's anxious voice asked.

" We're so not in Kansas anymore." I replied.

* * *

I know this chapter was probably very boring but hey, it's getting there. Pretty soon they'll meet the guys and Joey will start wreaking havoc on Alagaesia. So remember to review people! I want at like two or three reviews for an update, okay. So until next time.


	3. Chapter 3

Read And Review People!

Disclaimer- You know what I'm going to say so just skip this….

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" Joey. You do know we never were in Kansas right?"

I sighed. Who knew Blake would be such a killjoy. " Blake, you do know that's a common phrase. Not to mention you totally killed my moment."

" Oh."

I rolled my eyes as I turned to face Angela and the cat I now recognized as Solembum. She eyed me curiously as I thought of something to say.

" You're not from here are you?" She said before I could come up with a good story.

" Uh…no." I said, better to go with the truth, or at least the semi truth. " You see…we're…"

" We're travelers." Blake spoke up. " We're from…"

" We're from Carvahall!" I put in as I remembered that was where Eragon came from. As I said that a new idea started forming. I had read all the Eragon books and as much as I hated to admit it, he was probably our best chance of survival. Only problem was that I had no clue of where he was.

Angela got a strange look on her face as Solembum slinked over to where Blake and I stood.

" You are lying." He said to me. " Why?" I remembered how he could converse with people in their head.

" I have my reasons." I replied in my head.

His large golden eyes bore into me. " I would like to know those reasons. That is the only way Angela can help."

" Who says I need help?" I asked quizzically.

" You come in here running from guards and you don't even know where you are, I would say you are either lost or looking for something."

I cursed in my head and before I could stop myself I remembered that Solembum could hear my thoughts.

"From your…colorful choice of words, I assume I am correct."

" Fine, but I can't tell you my reasons, although I can tell you something else. One day we'll meet again and then I'll be able to explain. Of course you have to let Angela help us or else me and Blake are goners."

He looked at me again and I got uncomfortable. His eyes were so…strange. They seemed like they were digging deep into my soul.

They probably were…that was a rather unsettling thought. Eww….creepy.

Solembum went back to Angela who seemed like she was having a conversation with. She finally look back at us and motioned for me and Blake to go to her as well. " Solembum has told me that I could trust you." She said bluntly.

" Um, yea." I replied not thinking of what else to say.

" He also said that this situation would one day be explained as you told him that we would meet again."

" That's about right."

She gave us one hard look before continuing. " I understand you need help but with what? If I am to help you I need to know what I'm dealing with."

" Actually we're trying to find a person, right Blake."

" Huh?" He had started to space out and saw Angela looking at him expectantly. " Uh, right."

" And who might this person be?" She asked as she produced a small leather pouch.

" It's someone who came here. I don't know how long ago but he was here with another man. They were two travelers."

Angela chuckled. " Do you know how many travelers come here every day?"

I bit my lip. What was something that set Brom and Eragon apart? " Well for starters the older man was a bit of a grouch and he had a long hooked nose. He was really old, too. Then the young man… well he was curious I guess. Always asking questions and all that. Do you know anyone who has come here with those characteristics in mind?"

Angela stared into space apparently deep in thought, either that or she was faking to pay attention to what I was saying. " A few people come to mind but it's still a bit…vague."

I bit my lip. " Uhhh…." Think brain think! I urged it to think but succeeded in only giving myself a headache.

" His name was Eragon." Quietly came Blake's voice. I glanced at him and saw that he was looking at some of the artifacts.

I cursed Blake and realized that Angela probably thought we from the empire. Gee, nice going Blake. The one time you decide to talk it could cost us our lives!

Recognition flashed in Angela's eyes and I saw rage mixed in there. Solembum was beside her in flash. I could tell they were having an intense conversation by how tense they both were. Finally Angela looked at us again. I could tell that although she distrusted us she was going to help.

" Solembum has told me what you said. He also said that he trusted you. That is the only reason I'm helping you, but if I ever find out that you lied to me, then you'll be damned for all of eternity!"

I heard Blake gulp nervously behind me. I bit my lip. Wow…I really didn't want to be damned for all eternity. By the way, how long was eternity?

She took one last look at us as if to make sure we were trustworthy. " The two people you seek. They left almost two days ago from the house next door. I don't know where they're going but that's about as much as I can and will tell you."

I nodded as I motioned for Blake to go outside. " Say, do you know if anything is leaving for Dras' Leona?"

She tilted her head. " I think that a cart leaves in a couple of minutes to Belatona."

I smiled. " Thanks Angela." I said as I walked.

" Wait. What are you going to do?" She asked seeming a tad bit concerned.

I grinned mischievously. " I think it's time I caught up with a friend. Besides I have cart to catch!" I waved goodbye as I dragged Blake along. " Come on." I told him. " I found a way to get to Dras' Leona.

A few minutes later we were safely going through the gates of Tierm inside of a small cart carrying various types of fruits. I sighed as I tried to stay well hidden under the tarp as we hit some bumps on the road. " Hey Blake," I broke the heavy silence soon after we had left the city. " How did you know what me and Angela were talking about? Did you actually read the books?"

He looked at me with those hazel eyes of his as if I were insane, which I am. " I saw the movie. I'd never be stupid enough to waste my time reading."

I could feel my jaw drop. I had the urge to slap him but refrained from doing so. Instead I reached over and flicked his head.

" Hey what was that for?" he hissed.

" For being such a stupid moron." I replied and a war of flicking followed. I'm proud to say I won.

* * *

Soon it got dark and we started hearing the two men who were driving the cart talk about going to sleep and setting up camp. I looked and Blake and signaled him to get closer.

" I just got an idea." I told him and he groaned. " What?" I asked.

" It's just you ideas usually involve someone getting hurt, namely me."

" Well count yourself lucky. You're saving many people from being the unfortunate victims of my ideas."

That is how we ended up sneaking away from the men as they slept soundly. We also managed to get some money off of them. Seriously, using your boots as a place to hide money was not a smart idea. With that we started following the river that would eventually led us to Dras' Leona. I sighed one last time as I saw the long road ahead. This was going to take a whole lot longer than I thought.

* * *

I sighed again. This was taking FOREVER! " Blake, I'm bored."

" So am I." He said tiredly.

I blinked. I hadn't really expected an answer from him so quickly. " Ummm….." I tired to think of ways to start a conversation but right now I was so exhausted I didn't even want to talk.

I paused. " Hey did you hear that?" I asked.

" Hear-" But Blake was cut short.

The twang of a bow was distinctly heard and I could tell that they were shooting at us. I looked up to see two arrows coming at us.

" Oh shit!" I yelled as fell to the ground. " Duck Blake!" I had managed to save Blake 's life by pushing him to the floor.

I heard running as I tired to stand up and calm my fast beating heart. Ok, we got shot at. No big deal, right……See this is the part where someone says right and puts all my worries to rest.

Ok, so back to my whole almost getting killed situation, I was trying to stand up when I heard someone roughly say, get up. " Gee, thanks captain obvious." I said acidly as I tried to stand up and shake some of the dirt off of me. " What did you think I was going to do stay facedown on the dirt?"

" Joey-" Blake hinted as a warning.

I was about to give him some sarcastic comment but then I realized that there was a sword pointed at my chest. Ok, so no comments right now, I thought as I tried to think of some way of getting out of this one.

Not one single thought came to mind. Well actually on thought did and for some reason I just had to go and say it.

" I'm too young to die!" Needless to say Blake and I were doomed.

* * *

Sorry for the long update. Just forgot. Blame my ADHD, anyways, you know what to do.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's the 4th**** chapter. It's not that great but it made me laugh a couple of times- probably cause I'm so damn sleep deprived, anyways who cares. So read and review. I'm sorry if there's a minefields of grammatical errors. **

**Disclaimer- Go ask a psychic if you don't know what I'm going to say.**

* * *

" **Please," I said quite pathetically. " Please, I'm to young to die. Kill Blake, he's just a tree and besides he isn't as interesting as I am." I could see Blake staring at me.**

" **Eh?" I looked at the person holding the sword and I almost gasped, not because he was good looking or anything but because he was the messiah of the war against the machines! Wait no- that was from Terminator. I mentally gave myself a face palm. **

**This guy was just another dragon rider. Well actually he was Eragon, the dragon rider who was going to save me and Blake and eventually the Varden and then he was going to save Alalgeisia! Big dreams for such a little guy, I noted since was a little bit taller than me and I was 5'6, and Blake absolutely dwarfed this guy since he was almost six feet tall.**

**Anyways back to my current dilemma, he was now pointing at us with a sword that was crimson and seemed pretty old. Now that I looked at it closely (I mean it was pointing at my chest….wait- What!) **

" **Why are you pointing your sword at my chest!" I demanded. I also gave Eragon a well deserved glare for a more dramatic effect.**

" **What?" He asked again. Clearly he was confused.**

" **Perv." I muttered under my breath. Beside him an old man stood, I recognized him as Brom and I almost burst out laughing. He was a dead ringer for Gandalf from the Lord of The Rings. I giggled but tried my very best to suppress them. **

" **What do you find so amusing?" The Gandalf look alike asked.**

" **Nothing." I managed to say between giggles.**

**They turned their attention to Blake. Stare…. Stare…more seconds passed by and it was still stare…stare…stare.**

**I sighed. Quite obviously they had nothing better to do so they were just going to stare each other down. I suppose it was guy thing.**

" **Who are you?" Asked Eragon after a solid minute of staring. **

" **Who are you?" Blake responded. I resisted the urge to give myself a face palm. Oh boy, now they were going to go answer each other with endless questions. Not if I could help it. **

" **Ok, how about we just get over this." I pointed to Blake. " He is Blake." I pointed to Eragon, " Now, who are you?" **

" **I'm- " he was cut off by the Gandalf look a like. **

" **We don't need to answer you're useless questions." Brom, or Gandalf, said. **

**I rolled my eyes. " Really and why is that?"**

" **Because you are of absolutely no importance."**

**I snorted. " Really and how do you know that? For all you know I could be a psychic." I knew that what I had just said was a load of cow droppings but if it got them to believe me, then it would be awesome, if not then I'd have nothing to lose.**

**Brom snorted. " Psychics don't exist."**

**I smiled. If only he knew….. " Really?" I smiled mischievously. " Then how do I know that you're Brom from Carvahall and are on the run with Eragon of Carvahall?"**

**Brom laughed " You could have known that by looking at the posters."**

" **How do I know that you were the storyteller of Carvahall?"**

" **You asked around."**

**This guy really was as stubborn as I thought. I looked at Eragon who looked like he might believe me. " How would I know that Eragon's uncle, Garrow, was killed by the Raz'ac and now you're on your way to Dras' Leona to get revenge?"**

**Eragon seemed surprised. " How did you-?"**

**I smiled. " I'm psychic, remember? So now will you help me?"**

**Eragon looked me as if trying to see if I could be trusted. I just stared back. All this looking into your soul thing was getting old, fast!**

" **So……..?"**

" **Yes, you may come with us." He said as he walked over to the horses.**

**I smiled. They had absolutely no idea of what they were in for. For a second I pitied them. Then I remembered how much fun this was going to be.**

* * *

" **Are we there yet?" I asked Blake for the millionth time as I held onto Eragon. " Are we there yet?"**

" **No." He said for the millionth and one time .**

" **How about now?"**

" **Does she ever stop talking?" Brom asked Blake.**

" **Sadly, no." Blake responded **

**I smiled. " Imagine how boring life would be if I didn't talk."**

" **It'd be much more quiet." Eragon grumbled.**

" **No it wouldn't cause then there'd be someone else to take my place."**

**He sighed again. He was probably regretting not stabbing me with the sword. He was probably regretting meeting me in the first place.**

**I looked at the scenery which flew past us. " Are we there yet?"**

" **No!" They all yelled.**

**Damn. **

* * *

" _**I am really special, Cause there's only one of me!Look at my smile, I'm so damn happy. Other people are jealous of me!When I'm sad and lonely, I like to sing this song,It cheers me up and shows me, That I won't be sad for longOh! Oh! Oh!I'm so happy I can barely breathe Puppy dogs and sugar frogsAnd kittens, baby teeth So, watch out all you mothersI'm happy, it's hardcoreHappy as a cucumber 20 dollar whoreI'm really happy I'm sugar-coated meHappy good, anger bad That's my philosophy"I can't do this, manI'm not happy"I am really special, Cause there's only one of meLook at my smile, I'm so damn happyOther people are jealous of meThese are my love handles And this is my spout If you tip me over then momma said knock you outI am special, I am happy, I am gonna heaveWelcome to my happy worldNow get your shit and leaveI am happy, I am good, I'm..."I'm outta here! Screw you!**_**"**

**I kept singing that as we rode through Alagiesia. I could tell all three of my… companions, to put it nicely, were probably cursing their sad fates. Who could blame them, it was an annoying song, but so so catchy, and it was being sung by me. It also didn't help I couldn't sing to save me my life.**

" **Will you please shut up!" Blake finally yelled as I sang the Happy song for the seventh **

**Time.**

" **Jeez, no need to be rude." I said trying to pretend being hurt.**

" **Well it's hard not to be rude when you're singing that damn song!"**

**I smiled. I finally figured out how to get Blake to talk, you just had to piss him off. "Watch your language." I said in a singsong voice.**

**He rolled his eyes. " Sometimes I wonder why I haven't killed you yet."**

" **That would greatly help the world." Brom said darkly. " Not to mention it would rid the world of a great evil."**

**I laughed. " One day I'm going to save your life, and then you'll have to take that back."**

" **I doubt it." Eragon said.**

**I looked at him quizzically. " Hey, it's possible."**

**He snorted. " Not unless you annoy them until they commit suicide. Unless you can do that, then it's impossible. **

" **Everything is possible, it's just not probable." I retorted.**

" **Yeah, right." Blake said. " What idiot told you that?"**

" **Ummm…. You did."**

**He looked genuinely perplexed. " When?"**

" **When I was arguing with you the other day."**

" **Oh."**

" **So therefore, you're an idiot." I said happily.**

**Blake glared. I was reminded of the saying if looks could kill. I laughed.**

" **What's so funny?" Eragon asked.**

" **If looks could kill, I'd be dead by now." I giggled. He looked at me as if he was afraid I was insane. **

**He didn't even know half of what I was capable of. That REALLY made me pity him and his sanity. **

* * *

**Are you guys psychic like Joey? If not then here's a hint- Review, please. Helps to know if you think that this is stupid or what, if you have constructive criticism that go ahead and review. If not, then review anyways…. Random stories are fun too. **


	5. Chapter 5

_Killing Alagaesia Sanity!_

* * *

_I sighed with boredom as we kept riding to Dras' Leona. You know how when you read a REALLY boring part of a book, you just skim. I really wanted to do that but sadly this particular book was now reality. _

_I sighed again as we made camp._

" _What's wrong with you now?" Blake asked._

" _I'm bored out of my mind…." Then a realization hit me. What day was it?! " Blake what day was it when we left….you know…" I couldn't think of a way to ask Blake when we left our time and place for Alagaesia. _

_He frowned. " What?"_

_I shook my head. " You know….when we came here." I put extra emphasis on here. I silently hoped he figured out what I meant. _

_Thank whatever gods were listening to my prayer because Blake's face cleared as realization dawned on him. " Oh, I don't know, I think it was November something, the thirteenth if I'm not wrong."_

_I gasped. No! No! NOOOOO!!!! " No!!!!!!!!!!!!." I yelled for all of Alagaesia to hear. _

_Both Eragon and Brom looked at me like I was some sort of deranged psycho but that all paled to utter insignificance to the fact that my life was over._

" _NO!!!!!!!!!!! I continued to scream like a banshee. " NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-" My screams were cut short by Blake's hand._

" _Wa da fow?" I asked him. He looked at me confused. I took his hand off my mouth. "What was that for" I asked again._

" _For possibly ruining my hearing for the rest of my life."_

_I gave him one of my patented, don't not lie or you shall feel the wrath of Joey, glares. _

_Blake being the boring brick he is ignored my awesome glare. " Really, what was that for?" I asked._

" _Why did you scream?" He asked being completely oblivious to my question. _

" _I don't think you would understand." I replied._

_He raised an eyebrow. " Really, why?"_

" _Because it's…." I started, how was I going to tell him that my life was over if I didn't get-_

" _Assassin's Creed 2." I replied in a small voice._

_He stared at me for the longest time before saying, " You have officially lost it."_

_I frowned. " That's not very nice." _

_He shrugged. " Yea, well neither is impairing someone's hearing."_

" _It was for a good cause!" I argued._

" _It was for a video game."_

" _An awesome video game!"_

" _A video game that hasn't even been released."_

" _That's exactly it!" I yelled. " I screamed because I won't be able to go to the midnight release! After which I will stay up all night and play it!"_

_Blake looked up at the sky as if he was asking the world why I was so stupid. Apparently no answer was given because he turned to me and said, " You're an idiot."_

" _Am not!"_

" _Are too!"_

" _Am not!"_

" _Are too!"_

" _Am not!"_

" _Are too!"_

" _Am NOT! Besides who's the bigger idiot? The idiot or the idiot that argues and loses to an idiot?"_

" _Shut up!" Came Brom's voice, " You're both idiots. You," He pointed at me. " for not being able to stay quiet for more than five seconds. And you," He pointed at Blake. " For talking to her and encouraging her to talk._

_We both shut up. Evil, grumpy old butt face….._

* * *

_As we rode to Dras' Leona I managed to stay quiet for more than five seconds. I actually lasted over half of the day without talking._

_Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, you grumpy Gandalf look a like._

" _The world is officially going to come to an end." Blake commented as we stopped for lunch._

" _Why?" I asked, breaking my beautiful no talking streak._

" _And I thought our wish had been granted and she would never talk again…." grumbled Brom while Eragon almost choked on water._

_I rolled my eyes. " And I thought that you two were actually mature."_

_Brom grumbled something under his breathe and I, being the mature young adult I was stuck my tongue out at him._

_Yes, for a teenager that is considered being mature. _

" _So are you still with your whole, the world is going to end if I don't get to play Assassin's Creed 2?" Blake asked._

_I nodded. " Yes! It looks awesome and besides I wasn't going to buy, Jacob was." I said referring to my twin who was just as obsessed with videogames as I was._

" _You're weird you know."_

" _I prefer to be called unique." I responded as Brom and Eragon spoke quietly._

_I tried to remember what part of the book this was but for some reason I couldn't remember. I sighed quietly as I had been all morning. That's when I noticed Eragon was gone._

" _Oh, snapples." I muttered as I remembered what happened after this. We got a surprise visit from…._

" _Saphira!" Brom shouted and sure enough the huge dragon was beside us. With one of her claws she held Brom and with the other she held Blake and me. I was about to protest when I remembered a bumper sticker I once read. " Do not question the ways of a dragon for you are small and crunchy."_

_I gulped. I'm glad to say I didn't question Sapphira._

_Soon she landed next to a creek and sure enough there was Mr. Danger Magnet himself holding his wrist all funny._

_I could tell that her and Eragon were talking because, well I could only tell on Eragon because he had his daydreaming face which is quite funny if you ever see it. _

" _I found an Urgal footprint." Eragon said and Brom examined it closely_

" _We're leaving." he responded like always since he was the Gandalf of this story and then he noticed how Eragon held his arm. " What's wrong with your arm?"_

" _It's broken." He responded._

_I turned to Blake, " Can you fight?" I asked in a soft voice._

_He shook his head. " Not really, why?"_

" _Because we're about to get some unexpected visitors." I replied just as we headed back to camp._

_Eragon rode Saphira as me, Blake and Brom went on the horses. " Do any of you know how to fight?" Brom asked as we rode._

_Depends on your definition of fight, I thought. " To some extent." I replied with a shrug. He handed me a knife and Blake was given a sword. _

" _Learn." he growled just as we heard the faint ring of a horn._

" _Shit." I muttered under my breath. Good thing I played videogames right?_

_I looked at Blake and his sword. Instead of saying something like nice knowing you, or I hope we don't die, I said the stupidest thing ever. " Sexist old man gave you a sword!" _

_At least in my mind I said, We're so dead. That has to count for something._

_________________________________________________________________________Yea, I know, I'm horrible about updating but don't blame me, blame my ADHD mind. And I know this chapter wasn't exactly the best since half the time it was spent arguing about Assassin's Creed 2, which is an incredible game by the way. But it's because I've been on my videogame craze, because of Final fantasy 13 which is released this Tuesday. So with that said I would like to ask you guys to still please review. Your guys' reviews are what make my strange world go round. _


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